Mindfulness is a Gift

I have a vivid memory of a long car ride when I was about 8 years old.  It was night time, and it was raining.

My parents were in the front seats, and I was in the back with my sister.  There was no music.  I was engulfed in the sounds of cars speeding down the highway, the rain hitting the car, the windshield wipers going back and forth, and my sister tapping her fingers on the door.

I was leaning my head against the window, and watching the raindrops chase each other down the glass.  I’d make quiet little bets on certain raindrops, and watch if they would make it down to the door before others. I watched two raindrops merge, and become one.   

This was how I made it through long car rides as a kid. I watched the cars go by, I listened to the sounds, and I let my mind wander aimlessly.

In my childhood bedroom, I had this wild 70s wallpaper with silver and tan intersecting squares.  At night, while trying to fall asleep, I’d follow the lines on the wallpaper, searching for the beginning or the end. I never found it, but I did eventually fall asleep.

I am sure that you have some memories like this.  These are the memories of the natural and spacious mindfulness of childhood.

The spaciousness of our childhood made it easy for us to pay attention to what was right in front of us. We were truly inhabiting the world around us, and fully present with whatever was happening.

But, since then, the world has changed dramatically.  Screens have taken over, and we have to purposefully carve out IRL time.  The pace of life continues to speed up, and anxiety is prevalent in all age groups.

The spaciousness is still here, we just need to learn how to tap into it again.

In my twenties, I struggled with anxiety and depression, and I thought that maybe meditation could help.

In that first meditation course, I was told to sit still for twenty minutes at a time, without moving.

I remember how painful it was to just sit there.  My back hurt, my knees were killing me, and my mind was jumping all over the place. 

I knew that meditation was supposed to be good for me, so why was I in so much pain?  Why did it feel like such a struggle?

It has taken many years to understand that I already knew how to meditate, and that being mindful does not require us to sit still and struggle our way through pain.  Sitting practice can be helpful. It builds your stamina, and your ability to watch your own mind, but it is not the only way.

It also doesn’t need to be complicated.  You don’t need to take a course, or buy any props.

Remember when you were a child, and you got lost in something simple, like raindrops falling down the window?

This is mindfulness.  You already know how to do it.  It is in your nature.

Our lives are full of opportunities to pay attention, and to relax into things.  When you pay attention to the people and the things that you love, they blossom, and you receive the gift of fully experiencing each moment.

What you pay attention to will grow. This is why being mindful of what you focus on is so important.

We live in a fast-paced world that encourages busyness, and over-stimulation. It has become too easy to miss the simple beauties of our lives.

There was a spiritual teacher named Ram Dass, who taught me a very simple mantra.

The mantra is, “I am loving awareness”.

A mantra is a helpful tool for re-centering and re-focusing the mind.  Whenever you feel stuck in a negative mental loop, you can simply take a few deep breaths, and repeat this mantra a few times. 

I like this mantra because it can create a swift attitude adjustment.  What would it be like to bring loving awareness to this moment?  What would it be like to bring loving awareness to cooking a meal, folding laundry, driving to work, listening to your kids or your partner talk about their day?

Being mindful simply means that you are aware of yourself, and your surroundings.  It means that you are aware of the present moment, even as it is passing.

Become aware of your breathing, and then notice what you see, feel, smell, and hear around you.  

You will notice things that you were missing before, and you will be able to access your natural creativity and wisdom more easily.  

The people in your life will receive the benefit of your full presence, and that is the most valuable gift we can give to another being.